…Hey…hey, I’m here. It’s me. You can wave back, it’s ok. How you’ve been?
Listen, there’s a lot on my mind, but I have something to tell you. Hope you remember this.
I’m not strong as I thought I was and I let you down, I know. You’ve been away and I’ve been away and things got distant. They grew apart, we grew apart. Now I’m see through and you’re solid, just like it was always meant to be. I failed at being there for you, I know, I should have. Forgive me.
There’s a bunch of shit that happened and I’m sorry. I could’ve prevented them if I wasn’t a selfish bastard. Truth is I was scared, and fear got me thinking crazy stuff. Ugly stuff. I’m not proud.
I thought I could erase them, you know, hide the scars, tender the soul. I was hoping, at the end you could see me at my best, glimpse the good in me. I know you believed in it. But I disappointed you, and never got to tell you why I did the things I did, why I wasn’t there, why I went away and never came back. It wasn’t your fault.
I just wanted you to know that you did know the good part of me. It was always there, but I was too stupid to see it and trust it. It was you man. You were my best part and you kept alive the dream of a different outcome. It could have been different.
Thank you for everything. Stay strong and stay safe brother.
“Did he see you? Did he hear you?”
My hand rested upon the temporal switch, now dead and forever inactive. I heard her load the gun again, her heavy breathing, her trembling heart. She was crying, my brave accomplice, wasn’t she? Why wouldn’t she, after all she was going to die. So was I.
But I had bid my farewells, sent them across time and space, hoping they would reach the last person to see me before I entered the void and came to this war world of death and tyranny. I made my choices long ago, but now it feels like it was a breath away when we stood on the sidewalk facing each other; two teenage boys grasping the world in two different ways. He loved it and I hated it. We were unique, but he wanted a human life. I wanted what was mine.
The ship shook violently making the two passengers lose their grip. The tail blew up, metal scattering, falling in the burning planet below. With the substance of the engine gone, the ship was a brainless machine with a suicidal mission. A self-destructive plan. The corpus of the ship swirled and gained speed, ever downwards.
I did it for him. One had to step up and take a position. I never wanted it to be him, to sacrifice himself.
As we both lay, awaiting the fall she reached her arm across the floor and squeezed my hand in hers.
“Marcus, are you all right? You’ve been staring back for the past five minutes, what’s going on?”
Jenna shook his arm, but he was stiff and silent. His eyes were opened wide and his jaw was clenched. The sidewalk was empty, mid October and cold, but he could swear he caught the glimpse of a boy…no, a man standing there. Waiving back.
“Marcus, please say something!”
“I remembered something. Alexander…”
Marcus eased his chest, breathing heavily. A sigh. A relief. And an epic sadness building inside him. It tore through him, through this world, through foolish past and drunk tomorrow. It made him scream, but that scream would never reach so far away. So he wiped his urging tears away.
“He’s a…he’s an old friend. Just an old friend. Thought I saw him.”
Jenna hugged him.
The two walked away. His mind kept replaying the short meeting, and he smiled, though he wanted to cry. He’d be strong and he’d remember. Always.